Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Weighing In

I have a big problem. Actually, the problem is I'm too big! I can analyze all the different reasons for how I got to be so big- but the main reason is I don't eat in moderation. Now, I can see some of my friends saying oh, no you aren't TOO big. But reality is, for my height, I am overweight. I am 182 lbs now. Before I got pregnant with Dallin I was about 150 lbs. After having him the lowest I dropped to was 155 lbs and then I have been steadily gaining. Now, before you feel too sorry for me, realize I enjoyed all of the food that got me to where I am today. But enough is enough. I've looked at a couple of web sited and found my body mass index. Since I am 5' 6", I am at 29.4 bmi which by itself it borderline for high risk for heart problems. But then you add the fact that I have an apple shaped body (not much waist) and that my waist is about 41", it brings me over the line and into the high risk category. I hate having to divulge my personal problems/secrets but I have learned over the years that I overcome my problems faster and more completely if I FEEL I have to account to someone. Now, that person or group for me is not always the first person MOST people turn too. A long time ago when I was having problems quiting spanking, I took on childcare because I knew that I couldn't lay a hand on other peoples children. When their children did the same things mine did to upset me, I was forced to find another way to discipline the child. I took parenting classes at church as well as Love and Logic classes in order to help me come to grips with my feelings and parent more effectively. BUT, the biggest motivator I'm sad to say was that I felt accountable to the other parents and I didn't want to let them down. Most people would just think about their own kids feelings and their spouses and find the motivation to change right there. I had to find it elsewhere and in a manner that would nip the problem in the bud. Nowadays, most people say I'm one of the most patient people they have met and can handle several rowdy kids. Oh, yeah, did I mention that in my journey of self-introspection I went to a counselor and found out after testing that I had Attention Deficit Disorder? This was adding to my inability to create order in my household and parent in an effective manner. Once I started medicine (Strattera) and added the classes and focused on changing, I became a much better parent- and more patient. My reasons for sharing this last experience was to show one way I am able to overcome my problems. Now, to apply this to overeating and gaining weight. I know I accomplish my goals better if I feel accountable to someone. I believe that by posting my battle with weight loss, I will be accountable to everyone who reads this! In my typical anxious manner, I would totally dread what all of you are thinking about me, but I'm ahead of the ball-game since I take medicine for anxiety. Otherwise I would never be posting such personal information!!!! A couple of other issues I'm dealing with is already possible heart problems since the medicine I take for ADD causes me tachycardia (fast heart rate) if I take too much of it. My doctor and the research I've done say that I am at risk for this no matter what medicine such as Ritalin, Concerta etc. that I take. It's just how my body reacts to these medicines. I've lowered my dosage to a low 40 mg with my doctors advice. If I develop anymore problems, I may have to go off of it completely. That leaves my ADD unchecked and I have to rely on other methods to help me there. Believe me, that is a big bear that I don't want to face. But heart problems are worse and when you add my weight and body type to it, I have a high risk. The other problem I need to stave off is diabetes. It runs in my family. It can kill. It can cause blindness. It can cause major circulatory problems that lead to amputations of limbs. I've seen a very elderly man whose arms and legs were all amputated due to diabetes. That is not the life I want look forward to as I age. I've worked in nursing homes and seen many problems yet that is not my best motivator- being accountable to someone is. Here is a list of the things that I have that to get me started on losing weight. Mainly I am listing this to show you that I have the major purchases that keep others from exercising, but have lacked the ability to stick to an exercise plan.

  • weights - (2) 5lbs dumbbells and (2) 2 lbs dumbbells
  • Newer walking shoes that have good support
  • clothes to workout in
  • DVD's - (2) Pilate's and (1) fat-burning dance mix
  • a punch pass to our local aquatic/workout center
  • a yoga mat

Now, I have no excuses about not having time to workout since the earliest a daycare child comes is now 9:15 am. As of yesterday, I don't have the two-year old that comes at 7:30 am.

I know I'm leaving out the food issue and focusing on exercising. Any suggestions on this issue? A food journal is the best thing to do but I dread doing that. Especially since I snack a little all day long. My mom has a good computer program that calculates the daily calories that a person should eat. Mine was only 1300! I eat way more than that hence all of the extra weight. Well, I need to go now and focus on my kids for a while. I hope someone will join me in this weight loss crusade!


Heidi said...

You are a brave woman Julie. When I wanted to lose weight I used They have a buddy system and lots of great meal ideas. The best part is its free. I lost 40 lbs using that system. I've heard that excercise and diet are both equally important, but for me the diet is a little more important to get things going. You can do this. You'll be a little hottie before you know it. :)

Julie said...

I didn't know that they offered a free program like that. I'll have to check it out. I need to get to about 140 lbs which for me is a good sustainable weight. That means loosing over 40 lbs. I'm so glad that you have been there and done that. I would like to be more petite again instead of having people ask "are you pregnant?" These are well meaning people who know I want more kids eventually. I must admit I look about six months pregnant because for some reason that is where my body puts it- in my waist/stomach area. OF COURSE where I could use it- like my bust :) seems to be oblivious to the growing fat area below it. UGH! This just makes my belly look even bigger. Whine, whine, whine. I am totally open to any suggestions anyone has on getting started on this weight loss issue. Thanks for your comment Heidi!

Ann said...

Hey Julie I dont know if you remember me but you were so sweet to me when I moved to corvallis. I went to elementary school with you and then we moved again but our parents have kept in touch all these years. I would like to visit you sometime we live so close to each other. Let me know if you remember who I am. Angie Nelson

Mama Nirvana said...

Julie, best of luck on your weight loss journey -- it is difficult and something I haven't had success with in a while. I've stopped eating processed sugar the past couple of weeks to stave off yeast growth (and thrush) and have noticed that the massive amount of probiotics I have been taking has really eliminated sugar cravings. Normally I am going crazy if I can't have sugar, but probiotics (expensive, but worth it -- I also grow my own kefir, a natural probiotic) have really curbed my appetite.


Julie said...

Angie! Of course I remember you! I tried clicking on your profile but couldn't find an email address. I hope this comment will get to you. My email address is Email me and I will give you my address and phone number. I hope to hear from and see you soon!

Julie said...

Amy, I will be sure to look up probiotics and kefir on the web. I'm not sure I've run into them before but they sound familiar. I really do hope you figure out something that will get rid of the thrush and yeast permanently. I have a second cousin named Andrea who is a certified natural herbalogist. Here email address is Tell her I refered you. She has dealt with systemic yeast infections in other people. She also knows many other holistic approaches to medicine and uses them inconjunction with regular medicine as needed. She is LDS and lives in Utah Valley. Hope this helps you!

Ann said...

I tried to email you but my computer was being dumb and would let me. SO here is my I hope to hear from you soon! Im so glad you remember me, hopefully we can get together soon:) Angie

Shay said...

Julie - You're very brave to post your weight issues. I've been having a very tough time with some things in my life and have found myself just deleting all my own comments from my websites - self-censorship. No one responds anyway. So, I hope my "you can do it" will reach your sub-conscious and you'll make some progress. I'm just a few pounds heavier than you, but I've always been pretty "stocky" anyway. I've gained and lost weight a few times. Mostly I just punish myself using severe self-hatred and denial of foods. Works pretty well. I like Slim-Fast, but I like to eat a good breakfast and "skip" lunch and dinner, which is almost impossible with a family. My mom would say find an activity that you love to do. Do something fun. My counselor would say, just go workout, it's not supposed to be fun. It sounds like you're coming at this from a self-care perspective, and that's great. Best of luck to you and keep posting!

Julie said...

Shay, I hope this reaches you- I think you are a very intelligent important person no matter what you look like- "stocky" or not. I've never been one to care about the outside apperance of others(except myself)- I'm all about the inside. Remember when we used to do aerobics in High school together? Those were some of my favorite times! I still can't hear "Rockin' Robin" without thinking of you and how we made an aerobics routine to it. I still like to dance, but I jiggle in all the wrong places now! I would like to just be able to dance and not have any worries about what I looked like. Maybe I'll have to look into an aerobics class again!