Weighing In

I have a big problem. Actually, the problem is I'm too big! I can analyze all the different reasons for how I got to be so big- but the main reason is I don't eat in moderation. Now, I can see some of my friends saying oh, no you aren't TOO big. But reality is, for my height, I am overweight. I am 182 lbs now. Before I got pregnant with Dallin I was about 150 lbs. After having him the lowest I dropped to was 155 lbs and then I have been steadily gaining. Now, before you feel too sorry for me, realize I enjoyed all of the food that got me to where I am today. But enough is enough. I've looked at a couple of web sited and found my body mass index. Since I am 5' 6", I am at 29.4 bmi which by itself it borderline for high risk for heart problems. But then you add the fact that I have an apple shaped body (not much waist) and that my waist is about 41", it brings me over the line and into the high risk category. I hate having to divulge my personal problems/secrets but I have learned over the years that I overcome my problems faster and more completely if I FEEL I have to account to someone. Now, that person or group for me is not always the first person MOST people turn too. A long time ago when I was having problems quiting spanking, I took on childcare because I knew that I couldn't lay a hand on other peoples children. When their children did the same things mine did to upset me, I was forced to find another way to discipline the child. I took parenting classes at church as well as Love and Logic classes in order to help me come to grips with my feelings and parent more effectively. BUT, the biggest motivator I'm sad to say was that I felt accountable to the other parents and I didn't want to let them down. Most people would just think about their own kids feelings and their spouses and find the motivation to change right there. I had to find it elsewhere and in a manner that would nip the problem in the bud. Nowadays, most people say I'm one of the most patient people they have met and can handle several rowdy kids. Oh, yeah, did I mention that in my journey of self-introspection I went to a counselor and found out after testing that I had Attention Deficit Disorder? This was adding to my inability to create order in my household and parent in an effective manner. Once I started medicine (Strattera) and added the classes and focused on changing, I became a much better parent- and more patient. My reasons for sharing this last experience was to show one way I am able to overcome my problems. Now, to apply this to overeating and gaining weight. I know I accomplish my goals better if I feel accountable to someone. I believe that by posting my battle with weight loss, I will be accountable to everyone who reads this! In my typical anxious manner, I would totally dread what all of you are thinking about me, but I'm ahead of the ball-game since I take medicine for anxiety. Otherwise I would never be posting such personal information!!!! A couple of other issues I'm dealing with is already possible heart problems since the medicine I take for ADD causes me tachycardia (fast heart rate) if I take too much of it. My doctor and the research I've done say that I am at risk for this no matter what medicine such as Ritalin, Concerta etc. that I take. It's just how my body reacts to these medicines. I've lowered my dosage to a low 40 mg with my doctors advice. If I develop anymore problems, I may have to go off of it completely. That leaves my ADD unchecked and I have to rely on other methods to help me there. Believe me, that is a big bear that I don't want to face. But heart problems are worse and when you add my weight and body type to it, I have a high risk. The other problem I need to stave off is diabetes. It runs in my family. It can kill. It can cause blindness. It can cause major circulatory problems that lead to amputations of limbs. I've seen a very elderly man whose arms and legs were all amputated due to diabetes. That is not the life I want look forward to as I age. I've worked in nursing homes and seen many problems yet that is not my best motivator- being accountable to someone is. Here is a list of the things that I have that to get me started on losing weight. Mainly I am listing this to show you that I have the major purchases that keep others from exercising, but have lacked the ability to stick to an exercise plan.

• weights - (2) 5lbs dumbbells and (2) 2 lbs dumbbells
• Newer walking shoes that have good support
• clothes to workout in
• DVD's - (2) Pilate's and (1) fat-burning dance mix
• a punch pass to our local aquatic/workout center
• a yoga mat

Now, I have no excuses about not having time to workout since the earliest a daycare child comes is now 9:15 am. As of yesterday, I don't have the two-year old that comes at 7:30 am.

I know I'm leaving out the food issue and focusing on exercising. Any suggestions on this issue? A food journal is the best thing to do but I dread doing that. Especially since I snack a little all day long. My mom has a good computer program that calculates the daily calories that a person should eat. Mine was only 1300! I eat way more than that hence all of the extra weight. Well, I need to go now and focus on my kids for a while. I hope someone will join me in this weight loss crusade!